I Am A Child Of God :)

i love the words to this song!

I'm so happy that it's conference weekend! Being able to listen to the words of a living Prophet and Apostles on the earth today is such a great blessing in my life! Call me weird, but i seriously get so excited when the conference issues of the Ensign come out and i get to read through the talks over and over and over again for six months until we get to hear from them again :)

time doesn't change everything...

i think when we dream at night, our dreams are our minds way of telling us "Stop pretending! This is what you really want..."

And lately, i've been dreaming.

Sometimes i kinda hate dreaming because eventually you wake up and realize it was all in your head. That can be both good or bad- depends what you're dreaming of haha. On Sunday, somebody showed up and let's just say, i wasn't expecting him. It literally was the strangest feeling i think i've ever experienced to watch him pull into the parking lot next to us. My heart all of the sudden was pounding a billion times faster than it was just seconds before and i felt like i'd swallowed a whole school of fish that were just swimmin' around in my stomach. But on the outside no one would know, i played it cool. But i just kept thinking to myself "i shouldn't be happy to see him! What the heck Nicole, knock it off!" So i made my way inside the church and sat down as quick as i could. He sat in the front, i sat towards the back...this would be fine. i could handle this. Just ignore him. Besides, there is a boy in Texas that i'm crazy about! The distance and months apart are really hard and we don't always talk much so it's hard to know what's gonna happen, but still, i can't forget about him. i think of him as much as i used to think about that boy sitting up there, who i didn't think i'd ever see again... but now he's here. And i am the most confused i think i've ever felt. So just ignore him, that's my genius plan, and it worked out really well- until the opening song. i realized that there are some peoples voices that no matter how long you're apart, or even how hard you try you won't ever be able to forget.  So obviously, it was hard. Much harder than i would have thought, all things considered. There were quite a few times (by accident? coincidence? call it what you want) over the next three hours that we were right there together, in the same room, inches away from eachother yet neither of us said a thing. How sad is that? Seriously. if i could go back, i'd change that. And then, as we're leaving, walking out to the car, he runs over and says "Sister Whitfield! I've been trying to talk to you..." and continues on talking to my mom. But what did i do? Well i turned around facing away from him and stood there like an idiot looking at the ground until i finally walked away over to the car. What the.... ?! i don't think i could have been more stupid and just flat out RUDE. But i wasn't thinking. i was confused about how i felt and i panicked. On the way home i realized almost instantly as we left the parking lot that i regretted acting the way i did. i should have said something, at least a simple "hi". That's when i realized that, chances are, i've been lying to myself about how i really felt. Which causes me to be even more confused. A lot has changed in the year that's gone by, and i'm a different person than i was, as i'm sure he is too. And now i can't help but to wish that i would've talked to him when i had the chance...

wanna get to know me?? read this.

Okay so i'm really bored tonight and everyone's already in bed...so instead of just wasting time on Pinterest like most nights i saw these questions on another girls blog and decided to fill them out for myself. Who knows, maybe you'll all learn something new

Were you a responsible child/teenager?

Yeah, I’d say so.. I mean, I had my moments for sure, but what kid doesn’t.

Do you care what people think of you?

To a certain extent, but overall not really

Can you play an instrument?

Trumpet, French Horn, pretty much anything brass. Piano a little too

Do you have leadership skills?

Yes, thankfully I do

Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m.: who do you want it to be?

Someone that it probably won’t/shouldn’t be

What do you do all the time in a car?

Sing. At the top of my lungs. Without fail, every time I go somewhere

What song is stuck in your head?

Nothing-The Script

Do you think too much or too little?

I’m a girl… obviously I think too much haha

At which store would you like to max-out your credit card?

It’s be something online, probably Nike

Do you miss anyone right now?

I sure do

When was the last time you cried really hard?

Saying goodbye to him at the end of Spring semester

Have you ever been kissed under fireworks?

Gratefully, I have

Do you believe ex's can be friends?

That’s a really tough question.. in my experience it doesn’t seem to work out too well unfortunately :/

What did you dream last night?

It was about an old boy, one I haven’t dreamed of in a real long time. Kinda weird actually

What would your last meal be before getting executed?

Probably tri-tip. Or Texas Roadhouse! Yeah, that’s it!

Do you sing in the shower?

Every time

What is your favorite Holiday?

4^th of July and my birthday

Have you ever been in love?

Yes.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

I usually wear flip-flops or Vans so no need

Have you ever caught a fish?

Yes!

What is your favorite cereal?

Coco Puffs

What is your favorite ice cream?

Anything with chocolate

Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?

Nope

What time is your alarm clock set for?

Haha I have like 3 or 4 alarms set for each morning..one right after the other

What movie do you know every line to?

Hoosiers, Tommy Boy, Remember the Titans

Are you shy around the opposite sex?

Only if I really like them

How many hours of sleep do you need to function?

Not very many thankfully, haha

One thing​ you'​re looking forward to?

Having a family of my own someday

Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?

Any way I can

Are you good at hiding your feelings?​

Not really

You'​re trapped in a room for 3 days with your ex, what do you do?

Oh dang, at this point I think it’d just be real awkward. But hopefully we could talk like we used to

Which celebrity, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with?

Jimmer, hahaha!

Do you think​ you have made a difference​ in anyone'​s life?​

I sure hope so. That’s a goal of mine

Are you talkative?​Are you shy?

I’d say talkative at times, but kinda shy in general

Do you trust​ people easily?​

No

Favorite type of sock?

Black

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

Uh, I’m in college, that happens all the time!

Favorite food?

Tri-tip and ice cream

Cat person or dog person?

Dog

If you could have one wish, what would it be?

Know who I’m gonna marry haha

Biggest regret?

Not telling certain people what I really want to tell them when I have the chance

Would you die to save the life of someone you dearly love?

Yes

Name ONE trait you hate in a person.

Lying/ being fake

we're going, going..back, back..to Cali, Cali

So umm... very long story short and minus all the confusing/frustrating details... i'm home! It's a little earlier than first expected (like 4 weeks early) but it's okay. Things happen and come up and we have to adapt and change with them. Or so i'm starting to learn.
Annyywayyss... things are totally different being home now. It's so weird. Like i'm not even sure how to handle it.  Luckily, i have been kept SUPER busy helping to get things ready for my grandparents 50th anniversary. We're having a nice party at our house for them and sent out invitations and whatnot so it's up to me to get things looking nice for the big day. I seriously did so much yard work and cleaning and planting and decorating and pretty much anything you could imagine. But in the process, i ended up with quite a nice tan so i won't complain too much, haha. The decorations looked amazing and everything turned out really nice. Lot's of people showed up and we had music and pictures and good food and just a good ol' time overall. I love my family :) and let's just think a minute... 50 years?!?! Like for real, that's SO LONG! i haven't even known anyone in my life for 50 years. i can't wait until someday when i get to celebrate anniversaries with my hunky husband, whoever he is! (ps. did i mention that i miss a boy in Texas? Okay, just making sure) So now that that's all over i've got much more time on my hands, which surprisingly is kind of unfortunate because i started to got a little bit crazy. But institute started up so i've been able to go to that and i actually spent some time going out with the Sister missionaries- interesting experience for sure. I also was able to pick up two jobs: one is reffing volleyball games at the jr. high (which i really don't like, but hey it's money, haha) and the other is working at Dr Openshaw's dental office. i'm actually kinda excited to start that one, i think it'll be a really different experience than i've ever had. So we'll see..i'm just happy to have stuff to do.

the end of a good thing.

Welp, Spring's over :(
i don't think i've ever been so sad about having to be done with a semester. i seriously just wish i could go back and stay living like this forever haha. Don't get me wrong, i'm so stoked that classes are out...but not so much for everything else. Steph and i moved all of our stuff over to the Tustians since we're gonna live here for the 7week break. Tustian even invited us to dinner and to ride some horses that he had at his place so Chad came with us- he looked so cute on a horse :) Then it was time for finals week, which luckily wasn't too hard for me. i had a couple projects to finish and two tests in the testing center but it wasn't too overwhelming at all. My roommates and i even had a s'mores night at the new fire-pit the just built at Nauvoo and then all of us and our boys watched Heavyweights. I love my life. But eventually the week came to an end and it was time to say goodbye.

i. hate. goodbyes.

Seriously, saying goodbye to him was the suckiest thing ever! I don't think i've ever cried so much :( and unfortunately i don't know what to expect really...Texas is way farther than i even want to think about and January is a long ways from now. Chances are he'll probably forget about me by then. What the heck, why do things always have to happen like this. i went over before he left Friday afternoon- and just felt sick to my stomach the whole time, seriously like actually aching because i hate thinking it's over- and i just wanted to sit there with him and not let him leave. we said goodbye again and i was crying again before i even made it down the stairs. Sucks. i miss him so much already and it's only been like a week...ugh. Okay, enough complaining.
So Friday morning Tustian called to see how i was doing (he knew that the goodbye would be coming soon) and to ask when we'd be coming over that night seeing as how we're living with them now. Steph and i still had clean-checks (aka torture) to finish so we told him it'd be awhile. But then a few hours later, before i went to Chad's, Tustian called again and invited us to go with their family to Montana. They were already planning on going, kinda a family trip, and figured we were family now so they wanted us to come. It was actually perfect, with the timing and all. So that evening we drove over, literally threw some clothes in a suitcase in like 10 minutes, and jumped in the car with them and drove to Montana. Haha, crazy?! We got to Bri's moms house at like 2 the next morning and finally got to go to bed-talk about a long couple days huh? We had no idea how long we'd be there or what we were going to do but i absolutely loved it! The fact that we just packed up and went with them was the best. I am falling in love with their kids! Tucker, Teagan, Tanner, Trevor, and Tori. Yup, all T's just like Trent, ha. We ended up spending a day at the fair and rodeo which was SO FUN and doing lot's of projects around the house for Nana. We stayed for about a week and although i was glad to go back to Rexburg i had a great time in Montana! Bri's sister and mom and aunt that we spent a lot of time with are sooo nice and fun to be around. We spent a lot of nights laughing and talking and just being goofs. Perfection.
So now we're back in Idaho, living at the Tustians and it's time to go back to work!

before i die, i want to...

So for a class i had to do this project, my Creed Document, and one of the things in it is my bucket list. Here's some of mine:


-shake hands with an Apostle
-learn how to solve a Rubik's cube
-graduate from BYU-Idaho
-go to a major league sporting event for each sport
-learn to play the piano
-go to a country music concert
-try surfing
-milk a cow
-go on a cruise
-learn/become fluent in another language
-ride a mechanical bull
-go to Washington D.C.
-go to the Olympics
-visit Church history sites
-learn to say I LOVE YOU in 20 different languages
-try zumba
-go parasailing
-tour Hearst's Castle
-be part of a flash mob/lip dub
-learn to ice skate
-drive my Jeep on the Rubicon or another famous trail
-write a book
-go fishing
-be in the newspaper
-visit Arlington National Cemetary
-eat sushi
-play mud football
-shoot clay pigeons
-try snorkeling
-meet somebody famous
-go to Italy
-go on a safari
-set foot on all 7 continents
-particiapte in breaking a world record
-visit the Smithsonian museums
-learn sign language
-buy my own car
-try sailing
-try indoor skydiving
-watch a meteor shower all night
-learn a magic trick
-plant and harvest my own garden
-visit Auschwitz
-watch the sunrise on the East coast and sunset on the West coast
-go through as many temples as i can
-have a star named after me/bought for me
-visit the Statue of Liberty
-tour the Hershey chocolate factory
-be in a movie/commercial
-see the Grand Canyon
-go to a rodeo
-go to a deserted island
-build something by myself out of wood

Happy Birthday America!!

LOVE these girls!!

seriously, how handsome is he?! ;)

they like eachother, haha, promise.

I love 4th of July! And this one was the best if all. We had a 3 day weekend so there was no school Monday, it being the 4th and all. Most of my roommates went out of town so it was just Juls and I in the apartment. Friday night Chad and I watched a movie, the great debaters, with James and his girlfriend- it was a pretty good movie. These guys at their apartment complex set off some big fireworks in the fire-pit outside so it was kinda chaotic for a bit, but funny nonetheless. Then Saturday we played volleyball in the sandpit all morning. It was way hot Saturday, i even got a little sunburned believe it or not. After doing some laundry and homework and taking a nice relaxing nap in our quiet apartment, Juls got home from the library and Chad came over so we all went to get a pizza from where his sister works and watched a movie. I couldn't imagine a better way to spend my time :) After Chad left Juls and i pulled out our mattresses and had a sleepover in the living room and watched another movie, haha. We went to church with Chad the next morning and then the boys came back home with us and we made a fabulous tri-tip dinner- they LOVED it. Eventually roommates started coming back home and we made plans for the 4th.
There's a big fireworks show in Idaho Falls so we decided to go to that. We packed some hotdogs and drinks and drove out to the river where they shot the fireworks from...there were so many people there!! We played card games and hung out for a long time until finally..the fireworks started! They were so awesome and sitting there with Chad was the best way i could think of to spend it.